I Miss You (a toothless confessional)

I’m still alive and kicking.

Actually, no – I haven’t kicked anything. I should kick something or someone. Surely someone deserves a kick. Ooo…my dentist! Good for nothing *&%$!!

I should kick myself in the pants for falling off the blogging bandwagon. That should be your blog name. Blogging Bandwagon. You’re welcome.

Sorry. This is why I can’t stay focused.

Do you sometimes just not feel it? I haven’t been feeling it. I’ve been eating cupcakes, snuggling under partially broken electric blankets, and staring at the ceiling wondering what my next recipe should be.

Oooo! Big news. I discovered fat behind my knees. DEFCON 4. Something felt weird when I knelt on the floor to do some yoga, went to investigate what was pinching, yep…fat…hold on…juuust making myself a quick note to research if cupcakes could be the culprit.

I miss you.

They say {via blogging Rule #876} that you shouldn’t write a blog post about why you haven’t been blogging.

I’ve always been a rebel.

Rule #877: You shouldn’t apologize to your readers for not posting anything. But what if I really am sorry? I’m sorry for not blogging AND I’m sorry for apologizing about it.

Rule #878: Don’t give your readers excuses. So here’s what’s been a’happenin in my world that’s kept me from caring about cooking (aka my excuses):

Cat drama.

Our sweet kitty Meatball (yes she’s totally sweeter than your kitty, a mother knows) had slowly stopped eating. She’s always been a big eater so when she started acting afraid of her food dish, our spidey senses knew something was up. Turns out she had a serious tooth infection (she’s always had bad teeth and cleanings didn’t seem to help). We were told the infection would eventually affect all her teeth. (Google stomatitis if you’re a pet hypochondriac). The only fix was that she had to have all her teeth extracted.

YES you heard right.

She now has zero teeth and her face looks like she’s got high cheek bones and always at the ready for a quick duck face selfie.

I joke, but this has been a tough time for us. At first, we weren’t sure if she was going to make it. The vet had us pretty scared that she wasn’t going to bounce back after waking up from the anesthesia. Since she’s been home, getting her to eat has been tricky. Even a kitchen snob can’t make some mushed wet food concoction taste good enough for a starving kitty in pain.

She’s on the mend now and, for some crazy reason, doesn’t hate us. (and now I’m feeling guilty for saying she looks like a duck. She doesn’t. But her cheekbones look fab.)

More tooth drama.

Some of you may remember I had to have my front tooth pulled last summer. It’s been a long road, but I finally got the implant in. That’s just phase 2. I have to wait a few months before I get a crown. So, I still look like a big toothless doofus.

The drama is: my dentist messed up my tooth.

Oh no. I’m a dentist snob.

I won’t bore you with the details but it’s seriously Seinfeld worthy. Here’s the gist: blah blah, blah blah…blah! Blah…yadda yadda, blah.

There you have it. See? Told you. Now I’m mid-procedure and have to switch dentists.

It’s been fun for all involved and me and my toofless kitty are feeling each other’s toof pain.

Making a Murderer.

No, this isn’t an excuse. I wouldn’t stoop to that level. But if you’ve seen it, you’ll understand that all of life’s responsibilities pale in comparison to watching the next episode. Fine, it’s an excuse.

There’s hope.

I’m working on a few new recipes right now. One of them is a Peruvian dish with steak and fries. Yasss. And a chicken tequila pasta copycat like the one from California Pizza Kitchen. Oh, and salad dressing. Red wine vinaigrette to be completely, specifically OCD about it.

So you see there are exciting things going on over here, once I finally crawl out from under the rock that is my large, very comfy, life-sucking, sectional couch.

Want me to try one of your recipes or make something you’re craving? Chime in the comments section below and blah blah me all about it! (also, tell me, do you think Steven Avery is guilty?)